nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
sarcasm needs its own font
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
