I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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