Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
