Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
