Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
