my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
In America we eat man semen.
this boner is exhausting
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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