And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Everyone says I win the strip club
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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