I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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