i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
