So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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