It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
