Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
