I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We just shotgunned beers for America
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
