is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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