i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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