Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
