I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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