halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
