Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
