btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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