susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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