So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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