Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
