I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have tasted many bathrooms
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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