Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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