I wish life had little blips of pornography
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
