East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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