haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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