You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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