I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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