I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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