I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
