Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize