I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
