I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
the raccoons are back...
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