She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
