I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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