you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
