i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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