She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
