i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
