people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
