Swine flu. Run for my life!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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