is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
