the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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