So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
