yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
