You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
