I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
