You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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