why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
