Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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