what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I want is dick and wine.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
